My only resolution

Confession time. I am unashamedly someone who has the “new year, new me” mentality. I love this time of year to reflect on the year that ended but mostly, I am an obsessive planner and dreamer so when January comes creeping, my notebooks (and heart) become full of excitement and goals. I write letters to myself to read at the end of the year, plan goals and vision, I pray for a scripture for the year and come up with mottos.

However, this year I realised that I end up with a list of too many goals and spread myself thin trying to achieve them all. I become so lost in doing a little bit of everything that I end up achieving nothing. I try to eat healthy and exercise and make time for family and friends and read 30 books a year and finish the bible and learn to speak a new language and and and… As individual goals, every one of them is achievable but when put on the list, it becomes near impossible and I beat myself up for “failing”.

So, where did that lead me in 2017? With one simple goal; to be an inspiration to myself. I don’t want to have to stick up a photo of Kendall Jenner on my mirror to remind me of the body I’m working out towards or to beat myself up because I can’t seem to get through the third week of BBG. I want to be so passionate and driven on the inside that I don’t need external validation to keep going. I don’t want to fake my Instagram posts to make others feel jealous or inferior. I want my Instagram feed to be filled with real and vulnerable posts that reflect who I actually am. Above all, I want to inspire myself through the failures and the goals I didn’t achieve. I want to look back at those setbacks and see how far I’ve come because I simply got back up again, dusted the dirt off and kept going. Even when getting back up means walking with tears running down my cheek and a heart that is slightly bruised by disappointment. I want those failures to be what motivates me to do better because life taught me a lesson and I was humble enough to take it.

And if in the process I manage to inspire someone else, I’ll consider this a goal well achieved.


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