Less of me

In a previous blog post, I mentioned how I only have one resolution: to be an inspiration to myself. While I absolutely love the idea, I’d be foolish to think that it is possible to achieve that without a bit of a game plan on how to get there. This got me thinking; how is it possible to achieve a goal so abstract that it covers all areas? The answer is simple.

While thinking about this resolution I came to a simple realisation. If I wanted to inspire myself, something would need to exist within me that is worth being inspired by. As a Christian, this led me to one short verse.

JOHN 3:30 “He must increase, but I must decrease.”

Truthfully speaking, if I look at who I was before I had a radical encounter with Jesus, there was nothing particularly inspiring about me. Ordinary, mundane and average.  When I look at me now, I’d actually use those very same words to describe me. Yet, the moments in my life so far that I am most proud of all occurred because I allowed the Holy Spirit to move through me. It’s those moments that I look back and know that in my own strength I could never have achieved that.

Last week, my church had a massive young adults fest and I had the incredible opportunity of being able to speak at it about womanhood, a topic I could speak about everyday and never tire of. However, I found myself being unable to fully engage in the opportunity (one that I’d actually been praying for) because I felt so unworthy of it. I realised that I tried to downplay this opportunity because I became so focused on the latter part of this verse. I knew that I didn’t deserve this opportunity and tied to force humility by reminding myself that I’m ordinary, mundane and average. But the truth is that we cannot simply empty ourselves without filling our hearts with Jesus. Doing that will create insecure, doubtful and passive Christians. The world doesn’t need more of them. What the world needs is more Christians willing to empty themselves at the foot of the cross and tap into the strength of the holy spirit.

For me personally, the only way I can create a 2017 in which I am certain that I can inspire myself from the inside out is to live a life in which I fully allow Christ to consume me from the inside out. (And yes, I am totally singing From The Inside Out now)

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